hereS my daily kaganof:
there is no job description that will ever suit a person like me. i pretend to be functional sometimes and it actually works (i believe it for a while) until my art takes over and my belief falters again. the cause of it all can always be the weed i smoke, but i choose to blame the things i was never diagnosed with, it’s much more interesting that way. i keep thinking that quitting my vices will make me pure but then i think vices are the pure things, ‘cause they don’t judge you and they don’t ask any questions. money is an art form i am deprived of mastering. the humidity problem in the bathroom has to be fixed, we gotta paint those damn walls, but i would rather spend the money on painting a canvas or a body. every dawn of everyday i spend about thirty seconds telling myself to forget about the failures of yesterday, ‘cause today isn’t yesterday anymore. it works. keeps me drifting forward. and in all the chaos, all the confusion and ups and downs, there are only two constant things in my life: knowing i am going to die, and the love i have for my offspring. all the rest become waves, in, out, in, out, here, there, nowhere, everywhere, real, unreal.